Prepping

Almost been 3 weeks now and I do apologize for not updating for so long! The Internet is not great to say the least.

            So nothing too embarrassing has happened since the water bottle incident, so that’s good, But just an update on that I’m having my sister send me a replacement from the states.  I did get to herd sheep today! That was an adventure. Picture me runner after a group of sheep and them running for their lives… epic.

            I have been taking so much in during our lectures that I haven’t known what to write about. The other day we broke in to groups and were asked to discuss what God is doing in our lives and then pray about it. This has never been a question that I have had trouble answering before, but I didn’t know how to answer. I had to think which was weird considering how I got here to Capernwray.

“What is God doing in my life?”

            I don’t know.  It the large scheme of things, I don’t know what God is doing right now, how he wants to use this experience. Normally I would be asking, what’s next and is there a toll road so I can get there faster. But I feel like for the first time in a long time (if ever) I am right where the Lord wants me. I don’t know how he wants me or use the knowledge that I’m getting here, But that’s ok! I feel good.

Ever since Ryan died, I feel like there has been this beautiful urgency in my life. When I say urgency I don’t mean a rush or hurry but more a shift of priorities. Asking myself, why I’m here, what I’m meant for, and what the Lord has in store for me. I’m in a stage of prepping. 

I heard an illustration yesterday about a man who was searching franticly for something while on the phone with a friend. Finally, after turning his apartment upside down, his friend asked what he had lost and he responded, “I just can’t seem to find my phone.”

I don’t feel that this prepping stage is a new phase. I have been in it for a while. Just like the man had his phone the entire time, I have been in this stage that God has been preparing me for what I’m meant to do next, and I just didn’t realized it. For a while he has been stripping me of habits, desires and in some cases even relationships. Not to mention pushing me all the way to England. So its obvious that he is moving and prepping I just don’t know what for.

So many times before I feel like I have entered similar “prepping” stages and been defensive, as if I had been doing something wrong and was being called out on what changes need to be made. (Authority is something that I struggle with, if you don’t know me very well.) (I’m working on it…) (Just don’t instruct me to work on it… I might ignore you and not do it… like I said, working on it) But this time I go onto it with a willing heart. It’s welcomed with that beautiful urgency. Making the changes that are needed and seeing that the only way up is surrender. So I look forward to taking advantage of what I’m learning here, and LIVING IT UP!